A co-worker got a pen stuck inside our printer. He started to try and remove the pen, but I told him we don't have time for that now, just put a note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then report it to the Help Desk. So he grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled on it. I left before he finished the note. About 20 minutes later, one of my techs comes in laughing and says he was just in the lobby, saw a piece of paper on a printer and went to investigate. Attached is what he found. Sometimes things don't always come out the way you want them to........
If you have ever flown West Jet, you'll will know these are likely quite true.
West Jet is an Airline with head office situated in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. West Jet airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
On a West Jet flight (There is no assigned seating, you just sit where want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!" ----------------------- On another West Jet Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants." ------------------------ On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have." ------------------------ There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane." ----------------------- "Thank you for flying West Jet Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." --------------------------- As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at the Vancouver Airport, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" ------------------------- After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Ontario, a flight attendant on a West Jet flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted." ----------------------- From a West Jet Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard West Jet Flight 245 to Calgary.To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one,you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised." --------------------- "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you,secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite." ----------------------- Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive.Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than West Jet Airlines." ------------------------ "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments." ----------------------- "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants.. Please do not leave children or spouses." --------------------------- And from the pilot during his welcome message: "West Jet Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!" ----------------------------- Heard on West Jet Airlines just after a very hard landing in Edmonton : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, " That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt." ------------------------------ Overheard on an West Jet Airlines flight into Regina, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Regina. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!" ------------------------------ Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." --------------------- An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline. " He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?" ------------------- After a real crusher of a landing in Halifax, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal." ----------------------- Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of West Jet Airways." ----------------------- Heard on a West Jet Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em." ----------------------- A plane was taking off from the Winnipeg Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from Winnipeg to Montreal, The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!
Post by Bayer A.User on Dec 11, 2015 19:13:57 GMT -6
Take a few moments and visit the MS store website for some interesting "reviews" of 10 and the resulting statistics. Skip the hardsell and scroll down to the bottom.
Lovers of the English language might enjoy this.....
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. And this UP is confusing:
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions .
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so.............
Time to shut UP.....!
Oh...one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? -------
Post by Locutus deBorg on Dec 20, 2015 23:26:25 GMT -6
a conscientious mom goes into the local computer shop and asks about some games her sons have been asking for all year:
Mom: Hi, do you have Mass Effect, and Saints Row?
Clerk: ya, we do, they're over there in isle 5
Mom: (comes back with the games) um, sir are these the right games, my sons say they're OK for Catholic kids, but looking at them I don't thinks so ?
Clerk: um ya, no! they're trying to pull one over on ya hopin you wouldn't even look at them, "Mass Effect, has nothing to do with going to Mass if ya catch my drift !
Mom: um ya OK (mumbles something about someone "getting it" when I get home), they also asked for Greater Toronto Area V, and said look for the cover just says GTA-V
Clerk: um ya, we don't carry that one, we do have another game with the same title GTA-V but I can tell you it's not set in the G.T.A.
I find the lack of configuration options disturbing !
I felt a great disturbance in the force.. as if millions of win 7 systems suddenly cried out in terror.
Post by Bayer A.User on Dec 23, 2015 14:04:48 GMT -6
This one is for Noel. Imagine the 10desktopgroup dev team working for Chevrolet in the Bowling Green Kentucky plant... ...Zora Arkus Duntov rolls in his grave
found this in an old email made it last year and sent it to a friend forgot about it until I saw it again Great Stuff! Reminds me of the MSFT Code of Conduct we keep hearing about: Redmond Pinko's dont like guns...
<Rick> Good video. It's almost hard to believe that at one time Windows 98 was the resource hog, but even then, it still ran circles around what Windows 10 can do on today's modern hardware and look a heck of alot better doing it.
May 25, 2021 22:55:12 GMT -6
<Rick> As stated elsewhere, So much for the launch of Windows 11, "The Great Crash." Myself, I had a hard time getting into the site listed above, when I did get in, the video was partly done and then it crashed. There has been many other reports of crashing.
Jun 24, 2021 9:52:33 GMT -6
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<Rick> I see Microsoft has been very quick to pull down reports of site crashing regarding the Launch of Windows 11 on the Microsoft Insiders forum.
Jun 24, 2021 9:57:31 GMT -6
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<Rick> The rebroadcast is working okay.
Jun 24, 2021 11:00:25 GMT -6
<Rick> With reports of people being able to install the dev-edition of Windows 11 on machines not meeting spec, I thought I would give it a what-the-heck try. Lucky me, I'm caught in the downloading, doesn't meet spec, clearing, re-downloading loop on my machine!
Jul 2, 2021 7:08:46 GMT -6
<Rick> I've recently purchased a license for ArcaOS from www.arcanoae.com/ to play with. First impressions, it's still OS/2, but it now has a Linux twist to it.
Jul 2, 2021 7:32:53 GMT -6
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<dozrguy> laptop shit out and am stuck buying a new one. os win11 as fucked as win10 was?
Oct 2, 2021 12:56:10 GMT -6
<Rick> Let's see ..., my impression of Windows 11 is that it is a spruced up version of Windows 10 requiring a 64-bit processor plus a piece of security hardware that is less than 4 years old in order for it to run.
Oct 4, 2021 18:25:49 GMT -6
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<Rick> On the plus side, Microsoft is supposed to be supporting Windows 10 for some time to come for those of us still using systems with I7 or older processors.
Oct 4, 2021 18:44:35 GMT -6
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<dozrguy> i tried installing win10 om the 'shitout' pc this morning usung media creation. EPIC FAIL! went into an endless bootloop. win7 reinstalled just fine
Oct 21, 2021 11:23:38 GMT -6
<dozrguy> STILL so much bullshit and so little time for the kiddie ideas from the hill. My new laptop (MSI GE 11-UH461) would be an awesome "10" machine but because of Winblows I can only give it a "2"......wasted $3500
Oct 27, 2021 9:36:47 GMT -6
<Rick> Hello. Just checking in.
Mar 17, 2022 10:46:54 GMT -6
<isidroco> Each new w10 update adds >100000 useless files to \Windows\Servicing\LCU\Package_for_RollupFix... folders. Even in a SSD takes time to delete that stuff. In each version they manage to worsen stuff.
Mar 27, 2022 16:14:51 GMT -6
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<dozerguy> still traffic here?
Oct 9, 2022 17:32:44 GMT -6
<Rick> No, there does not seem to be very much traffic these days. I still check in from time to time.
Oct 9, 2022 20:08:58 GMT -6