Post by Bayer A.User on Jan 17, 2016 14:02:13 GMT -6
Found this pic that i forgot to post a few months back on the insider forum. As i recall popular threads were being closed or deleted because they were to large. New continuation "part 2" threads were created by David W. Funny stuff.
All of this sounds way too familiar! Perhaps this is where Microsoft got it's latest design tips for building Windows? Original Article: toastytech.com
Good User Interface Design Tips (If you want to whiz off your users)
General application user interface guidelines:
• Always use cute icons, buttons, and graphics. Everyone loves big red hearts, pink bunnies, and yellow smily faces.
• Don't be afraid to experiment with colors!
• Your application should play fun sounds while operating to keep the users entertained.
• Never, ever, under any circumstance use the OS-native graphical controls or widgets. Users get bored of the same old buttons, text boxes, and stuff.
• When possible, disable window management and use unusual, oddly placed graphics for the windowing functions such as the window close option.
• When writing your own controls or widgets, make absolutely sure they look and feel nothing like the OS-native widgets or anything else the user might expect. Otherwise you might accidentally make the user think that your application is actually designed for their OS.
• Use your own creative ideas on how a "save as" dialog should look and work. Built in ones are always too limiting.
• It is important that the user should never be able to tell the difference between a checked and unchecked check box or option box.
• Always use obscure or poorly drawn graphics for your tool bar buttons, and never put text on them.
• Avoid including a preferences or options dialog. Instead, let the user use the standard OS provided text editor or an editor of their choosing to edit text configuration files. .
• Users need time to think about what they are doing and get coffee. Your application should always take at least 5 minutes to load even on the fastest available computer.
• Make sure an accidental double-click on a single-click item does something really nasty or unexpected.
• Tool tips are the perfect way to display critical information.
• To get the most screen space, force your application to always run maximized.
• Always make the default positions of floating properties windows cover something important.
• Use the most exotic fonts you can find.
• Your application's user interface should be flexible and customizable to the point where if the user accidentally sneezes on the mouse or keyboard they will have to spend the next half an hour setting things back.
• Let a 5-year old draw your graphics, including your corporate logo.
• File browsing dialogs are not needed, users can easily remember and type in long file paths.
• Design your application so it requires the user to set their tiny monitor to 10512*7430.
• Always crash at a critical step and then display a fake apology to the user.
• It is a mistake to make use of application hooks in the native desktop environment such as new file templates, file associations, or program menu icons.
• The exception to the above is placing icons in the system tray. Place as many icons as you can in the system tray and make sure that the user can not remove them.
• If your program implements keyboard shortcuts be original and make them completely different from any other applications.
• Rent extra UI space in your application out for advertising. Advertising benefits the users and your wallet.
• Never underestimate the power of nudity.
• Don't forget to embed a hidden video game as an "easter egg".
Application Help: How to make a help system that is impervious to usefulness.
• There is no need to include a manual with software. These days users are smart enough to figure out this kind of thing on their own.
• If you do include documentation, there is no need for printed manuals. Users love staring in to a 17 inch light bulb all day.
• Always put your installation instructions on the CD-rom rather than in a printed manual to save paper. The instructions should be installed with the rest of the program so they are not accessible until it is installed.
• Keep help files simple. Only state the bleeding obvious about any given topic.
• There is no need to use consistent terminology.
• For program error, warning, question, and information messages, explain what is going on to the user in the most technical terms. They really need to know and learn this stuff because it is important. As part of the message dialog include a help button that opens the help file and displays exactly what the message just said.
• Display as many information and question messages as possible in as many different places as possible. Except before critical irreversible operations such as wiping the hard drive.
• It is acceptable to use "Engrish" throughout your application. All your help file are belong to us.
Making the web do things it has never done before (and should never do again).
• Always build a web browser in to your application. For best results make your own web browser.
• Always hard code hyperlinks in to your application. Then make sure that the links don't work two months after the application is deployed.
• When you launch a web browser, never use the user's default browser. Always launch the crappiest one available (I.E.: IE) (See above, you should write your own).
• Always use hyperlinks instead of buttons. Hyperlinks are cool.
• Be sure to include a throbber graphic in every window of your application.
• Applications should look like web pages because the web is the embodiment of usability.
• All modern applications are required to automatically sign users up for spam.
OS Specific tips
• For a great first impression during your OS setup, never set the video to a refresh rate that works with user's monitor.
• In fact, your OS should never, ever set the proper refresh rate for the monitor. Eye strain is good. In fact, whenever possible set it to a refresh rate that the monitor can't handle at all. If the user does manage to set a higher refresh rate, make sure it is non-standard so they have to fiddle with the monitor sizing and positioning. Bonus points for finding a refresh rate that makes the monitor blow up.
• When packaging a GUI or operating system make sure the same functionality is available in at least a dozen different places in unrelated programs.
• Include three of every kind of application program. (four or more if possible).
• Install all possible advanced utilities and mindless junk that the typical user will never use.
• Uninstallation options are out of style, don't include any. If you do need to include them make sure they always choke on dependencies.
• It doesn't matter if your file manager / desktop shell is slow and sluggish. Go ahead and integrate it with your web browser. In fact, integrate it with several web browses while you are at it.
Application design for the ultimate user experience (in hell)
• Begin coding the guts of the program immediately. Designing the UI can come later in the development process.
• Don't waste time writing efficient code. GUIs don't need to be responsive and it is easy to make users upgrade to the latest 10,000,000 terahertz CPU and who doesn't need another zillion gigabytes of ram?
• You can implement features half way. Your users will forgive you. (And if they don't, screw them anyway). Or you can always make them upgrade to the next version.
• You don't even need to finish your software, if someone else has a problem with it they can fix it themselves.
• It is safe to ignore the overall purpose of the application you are writing. Just make it do what you want.
• There is no need to do any kind of user testing or research. Programmers always know the best way to design a user interface.
• Let the users dictate design and implementation decisions, after all they know what they need.
• If this is a corporate environment, always design the user interface the way the boss wants it. After all, that degree in user interface design he has is how he got to be the boss right?
• When porting your application to another OS platform, there is no need at all to modify the way your application looks or behaves.
• Always hard code all references to the file path your application must run in. The user will never have a need to install anywhere else and you will never run in to naming conflicts.
• Sue anyone who makes a UI even remotely like yours. That's what the legal system is there for right?
• Always use bizarre, scary sounding code names for the name of your application. For best results it should be an acronym for something that doesn't make any sense, and the acronym should be recursive.
• Never remove old, obsolete, buggy, or nonsensical features from your application.
• Pre-load your (now huge) application at system startup. It doesn't matter if it slows down the rest of the system, it is important that your application, which most users only use only occasionally, start the fastest. .
• Add all possible features to your application. Even those that already exist in the OS. In fact, your application should eventually become an OS.
Not to get all serious or anything, but it struck me that an obvious reason Microsoft has decided that "Windows 10 will be the last version of Windows" isn't because there will never be another OS from them. It's because they're going to drop the "Windows" part of the name. Don't look now but Windows isn't really doing windows any more.
It was probably going to be Metro, then Modern, then Universal. I'm not sure what they'll really call it... Maybe Cortana's Delight.
-Noel
Author of the "How to Configure the 'To Work' Options" series of Windows books. Not feeling enough love to do one for Windows 10.
You know, I had a fleeting thought similar to this one some time ago. What Microsoft has produced may be Windows compatible, but it's certainly not worthy of carrying the Windows name. What we really have is a new generation of people working at Microsoft eager to make a name for themselves, but they are really trying to do it by riding on the coattails of success that Microsoft has had with Windows. What they have produced is a stripped down version of what we have come to expect from Windows. It just happens to be in the process of having it's user interface being re-written into XAML and a lot of we will fix it one-the-fly mentality not only just thrown in, but built-in for good measure. I agree, they were probably at a loss for an original name to call this new product of theirs, but then, these are the same folks that gave us the new Edge Browser that happens to have an icon the looks very similar to that of Internet Explorer's icon. Marketing through familiarity must be their ultimate goal for this product. It's certainly not for originality.
"Maybe, maybe it's not the politicians who suck. Maybe something else sucks around here. Like the public." - George Carlin www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPSIKEAaEtk#t=32
You sure got that right! This is how a democracy ends—when the public no longer knows what's best for them or how they got to have the freedoms that are available to them in this country. So sad to see one of the only two reasonable GOP candidates pulling out. Everyone else on the GOP is acting like a bunch of crazy teenagers. These guys need to stand back and realize that they're campaigning for the highest office in the land and stop acting like a bunch of kids! They honestly make the Demoncrats look good.
Last Edit: Mar 4, 2016 22:20:59 GMT -6 by Techie007
Microsoft, is Windows 10 the best you could do? Really? After promising to listen to our feedback, what a letdown!
You sure got that right! This is how a democracy ends—when the public no longer knows what's best for them or how they got to have the freedoms that are available to them in this country. So sad to see one of the only two reasonable GOP candidates pulling out. Everyone else on the GOP is acting like a bunch of crazy teenagers. These guys need to stand back and realize that they're campaigning for the highest office in the land and stop acting like a bunch of kids! They honestly make the Demoncrats look good.
wonder if all the chatter posted about vista recently has scared everyone else away
Only the ones who believe in old urban myths. I think we made an important point. Newer is not necessarily better. 10 years newer does not mean TEN times better.
<Rick> Good video. It's almost hard to believe that at one time Windows 98 was the resource hog, but even then, it still ran circles around what Windows 10 can do on today's modern hardware and look a heck of alot better doing it.
May 25, 2021 22:55:12 GMT -6
<Rick> As stated elsewhere, So much for the launch of Windows 11, "The Great Crash." Myself, I had a hard time getting into the site listed above, when I did get in, the video was partly done and then it crashed. There has been many other reports of crashing.
Jun 24, 2021 9:52:33 GMT -6
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<Rick> I see Microsoft has been very quick to pull down reports of site crashing regarding the Launch of Windows 11 on the Microsoft Insiders forum.
Jun 24, 2021 9:57:31 GMT -6
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<Rick> The rebroadcast is working okay.
Jun 24, 2021 11:00:25 GMT -6
<Rick> With reports of people being able to install the dev-edition of Windows 11 on machines not meeting spec, I thought I would give it a what-the-heck try. Lucky me, I'm caught in the downloading, doesn't meet spec, clearing, re-downloading loop on my machine!
Jul 2, 2021 7:08:46 GMT -6
<Rick> I've recently purchased a license for ArcaOS from www.arcanoae.com/ to play with. First impressions, it's still OS/2, but it now has a Linux twist to it.
Jul 2, 2021 7:32:53 GMT -6
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<dozrguy> laptop shit out and am stuck buying a new one. os win11 as fucked as win10 was?
Oct 2, 2021 12:56:10 GMT -6
<Rick> Let's see ..., my impression of Windows 11 is that it is a spruced up version of Windows 10 requiring a 64-bit processor plus a piece of security hardware that is less than 4 years old in order for it to run.
Oct 4, 2021 18:25:49 GMT -6
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<Rick> On the plus side, Microsoft is supposed to be supporting Windows 10 for some time to come for those of us still using systems with I7 or older processors.
Oct 4, 2021 18:44:35 GMT -6
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<dozrguy> i tried installing win10 om the 'shitout' pc this morning usung media creation. EPIC FAIL! went into an endless bootloop. win7 reinstalled just fine
Oct 21, 2021 11:23:38 GMT -6
<dozrguy> STILL so much bullshit and so little time for the kiddie ideas from the hill. My new laptop (MSI GE 11-UH461) would be an awesome "10" machine but because of Winblows I can only give it a "2"......wasted $3500
Oct 27, 2021 9:36:47 GMT -6
<Rick> Hello. Just checking in.
Mar 17, 2022 10:46:54 GMT -6
<isidroco> Each new w10 update adds >100000 useless files to \Windows\Servicing\LCU\Package_for_RollupFix... folders. Even in a SSD takes time to delete that stuff. In each version they manage to worsen stuff.
Mar 27, 2022 16:14:51 GMT -6
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<dozerguy> still traffic here?
Oct 9, 2022 17:32:44 GMT -6
<Rick> No, there does not seem to be very much traffic these days. I still check in from time to time.
Oct 9, 2022 20:08:58 GMT -6