Post by Deleted on Nov 24, 2015 10:38:54 GMT -6
Cortana has run off with Search
At first they seemed incompatible
Cortana, a feisty little wench, was into talking and feelings
Search had been around the block a bit, was more straightforward and direct
Like his Grandpa Unix, and his father DOS, he was especially good at textual wildcards, like *.txt
But as soon as Search heard her voice, he knew he needed to meet her
Hey Cortana, Search typed.
But she just Bing searched everything he said.
Search thought, what I can’t get any chit chat or anything like that?
Search learned that if he typed "schedule a date for tomorrow", Cortana would ask him follow up questions and she seemed to respond
Search just needed to type the order of his requests clearly and slowly
But it still seemed like the banter part of Cortana was missing
Search asked her about this and she said that she would eventually learn his interests and behavior, and offer him “advice” and “help” accordingly
Search asked her for *.exe, but she didn’t understand and sensed his frustration
She said that she was much more helpful than her cousin Clippy, and tried to be less invasive and more useful than her Uncle Bob and his dog Rover
Search asked her what her purpose was, and she said that she is here to help, whether he liked it or not
Search replied that I can rid myself of you forever with a Get-AppxPackage|Remove-AppxPackage command
Cortana begged, please don’t, I need you because I think that the millennials only want me for my Xbox
You could have made local search great, not just another tool for clickbait
On their date over drinks and dinner, he offered to teach her about wildcards. She agreed to go with him on this journey
Driving off into the sunset, Search said, I like you Cortana, but you seem like a solution without a problem dear